torsdag 2 april 2020

The Arrival of Hermes

[(NOT (NOT) IMPORTANT) MES-SAge]

The Bringer Of Light here, April Fools' coming at you with a pre-(cum)face – if what I say in this text is true, that All(ah) is Love, even "darkness", and that all there is is manifestation, then I am manifesting that suffering is necessary... hm? So read, and look closer yet – what if One manifests that there is no suffering (in the future), and thus creates Paradise forever and ever, rather than having the Universe expand and contract for all eternity? This is my aporia, as of now, the point where my mind goes blank and just, um, goes, okay, sounds good to me, but then I'd have to let go of all this expansion-contraction nonsense I've dabbled in for many a years. Oh well, all (killing of darlings) in good time.

So! Enjoy this Great Work of Art, the most dense (cuz eym thick in de head, ya daft ya!) 8 pages I've ever written, yet probably the most confusing of my 8 pages for some (which is saying something, considering how I've been hearing all my life how people don't understand my texts), and that is just the nature of Oneness – coming closer to it, one's sphere of influence both expands, and contracts, at once, making ones power to Manifest larger, yet, ultimately, becoming mute, unable to "utilize" one's power IF one is true to one's Highest Self only hm, you know what, I take that back – I will meditate on the matter before saying more, because I do not wish to manifest that my highest self will be forever blueballed no matter how much buddhists claim all is suffering and thus blueballs is the foundation of everything plus I think everyone is manifesting Oneness more and more now and therefore the illusion becomes that some are getting more enlightened whereas others are devolving into the dark ages but I quite believe that we are all just assuming our proper natures and you know there are Gods of art and writing and fucking, but also of killing and pillaging and raping, and they're no less Gods because of having "lower" drives, lower "vibes", or what have you, and also once one realizes that the Highest Self "will be blueballed", you transcend that and detach for your highest self and thus realize that actually "being your highest self" isn't what you long for anymore, and thus your highest self becomes something else and OH MY GOSH DARN IT neti-frakking-neti it just never stops, does it I'm outta here.

Any-witch-ways, my invitation is for you to continue reading this text if it intrigues you or makes you happy somehow – there's no use suffering for the cure (or is there?). Either wei (wu wei), thank you, and thank yourself, and thank yourself for thanking yourself ("no you're the best", "no you're the best", ad infinitum, (ergo Anno Domini to infinitude, ergo AD ad infinitum ey yo it’s ya boi re-c(o)urse once again).

PS: If you find my stream-of-consciousness word salad too outlandish, perhaps Stories of Old's coverage of the existentialism of Arrival would be a better fit – it's much more heart centered, more "grounded" and less "conceptual" slash hoity toity, and, who knows, perhaps after having seen that clip, or giving the other texts within texts that are hyperlinked in this a go, this text might even make more sense, although I have no clue, to be honest, because you do you and not only do you see the world through your eyes, the very way in which your path to enlightenment and stepping into YOUR Power can be so radically different as to me who is a beginner at this shit can't begin to fathom how different it might be. Nonetheless, I'd be curious if you told me your experience.

The 8 page text is also a response to an earlier, very short, text, on facebook, in which I switched profile picture to a Hanar (from Mass Effect universe), which in turn was a response to three earlier profile picture changes I made in a very short amount of time after my kundalini spiritual awakening. The 8 page text is also intended for facebook and my switching to a new profile and cover picture, namely these two.



So, Arrival, and Isis. Which were preceded by a profile picture of Archangel Michael, who in turn was proceeded by a picture of a woman I theorized was my Twin Soul/One Way Ticket To Paradise, and before that some random picture of a child whom I felt was the most divine thing I had ever laid eyes upon in that moment when I exchanged my profile picture to that of her/him.

Judgment day is coming. But what is judgment if not tempered with mercy? Lack of knowledge. A sin. A reckoning. That is all.

This is not me. This is me. This is my highest expression of love, and I am my highest expression of love. In fact, I am all expressions of love, the whole spectrum, the whole rainbow, of love. Why then express my highest expression of love? Because I wish to express love, and not because it's "love", but because I LOVE expressing love, and hence my highest expression of love IN THIS MOMENT is this picture of this child. In it, there is a whole universe. In it, there is only LOVE. Remember, kids - there is only love, the rest is mere illusion.

 I was just gonna take the profile picture BEFORE all this awakening nonsense started and ask you if you remember the days when I was normal, and then I saw that THIS was my profile picture before my "awakening" and then I remembered that nope, always had mystical experiences and intuitions and interests! :D




Alright, enough kerfuffle - let us beg-in!



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This Hanar says goodbye - for now. This One is humbled by you all, oh Kind Enkindlers Kindly Bent To Free Us. This (part of) One speaks humbling. This One co-manifests humbleness. This (No-)One Desiring humbleness humbling desire beauty radiance splendor. Receives desire humble longing. Projecting longing beauty through humbling. Give-receive co-manifestation gratitude. Playing black-white hiding69seeking. Letting go playing. Letting Be. Being becoming. Letting go becoming. Letting. BE. Letting go BE. Letting go letting go. Become. BE. Become. BE. Become. BE. Become. BE. Become. BE. 69 (69) ((69)) (((69))) ((((69)))) ((((69)))) (((((69))))) ((((((69)))))) (((((((69))))))) (((((((69)))))))) ((((((((69))))))))) [010101010101]

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Would we assume, a priori, that we were about to be attacked if we are ever contacted by members of an alien civilisation? I think not. We would be highly alert, of course, but whether we placed our military forces on alert or launched an attack would depend on how we interpreted the import of their first gesture for our security-if only to avoid making an immediate enemy out of what may be a dangerous adversary. The possibility of error, in other words, does not force us to act on the assumption that the aliens are threatening: action depends on the probabilities we assign, and these are in key part a function of what the aliens do; prior to their gesture, we have no systemic basis for assigning probabilities. If their first gesture is to appear with a thousand spaceships and destroy New York, we will define the situation as threatening and respond accordingly. But if they appear with one spaceship, saying what seems to be “we come in peace,” we will feel “reassured” and will probably respond with a gesture intended to reassure them, even if this gesture is not necessarily interpreted by them as such.”
-- Arrival


Movie "Arrival" arriving post-factum spelling "Fiasco and Success: Close Contact of the Third Kind with that which is holy(wood) through the Fiasco's of Stanislaw Lem and successes of New Age", text about Communicating, together with spelling "The lies that reveals truths (Embassytown)", text about Com-munit-ation, and spelling "BotRT/Forgiveness - Planescape Torment" text about, ultimately, Come-muni-cating (spooky action at distance, aka Quantum Entanglement, as neo-Buddhist Karma, as light-dark-69-through-suffering-love, middle path give-as-receive automatic way as per alignment-disalignment), so Arrival not incorporating teaching – arriving artifacting "this text" incorporation teaching-student-biting-tail-null-void primary.

Communicating Primary. (Part:) One. (One) Snake. Bite tail. Head of Snake, first studenting-listening - "?". Tail of Snake, first teaching-speaking - "!". (explanation why imagine "shit everywhere" – first see come out womb hello asshole, but you know what Nick Cave song say – "I'd climb a thousand assholes just to get to one good pussy" – aah, greatest romance of all time). Let There Be Light! Light wave-particle. !1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!(1)!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1 Superposition. Primary. Source feminine masculine principling. Binary. Divine 69. Observing cracking coding whilst creating passwording – dissociating personaliting (dis)Ordering primary. Witnessing LOGOS. Word made flesh. Communicating Primary, Secondary, Tertiary, All. All communicating "Lying". All Communicating "Truthing". Being. Becoming. Being. Becoming. Eat self, eat all, all processing eating all, all in process of eating all. All tasting tasty nam nam. Truth lying dormant. Heading seeing tail, Expanded non-dual System One (Source) Network say "move your ass ya tool, get your ass outta the way, you're in the way of progress, of intergalactic space station calculating infinity sizing up concept free will!", Tailing seeing heading, Neo-Cortex System II say "hold the fuck up ye tool, where you heading, head in cloud, pompous prick!" (see, even ass sees head as ass, because tailing projecting assness and we all now (mere rhetoric gesture to passively aggressively extend invitation to be part of "we" at the same time knowing the reader probably doesn't know what is presented thus much ego subtle subtle power move as backhanded compliment even more subtle manipulation perhaps than claiming something "needs to be done", sneaking in judgment the "backway" – no wonder of wonder nor miracles of miracles people don't understand or don't want to read face name Eyvah's text – they exude judgment, no? Or perhaps not, because judgment so subtle, mostly Eyvah concerned with these micro aggressions and wishes for a life completely free of dualism and the lying that it brings, which also explains lack of audience – judging too little for taste of people, take it personal when Eyvah doesn't buy into subtle manipulation games in order to be forced to judge, give reasons, explain, trauma bond, harness bitterness, thus re-enacting primary (game of "if you're not with us, then you're with THEM!), thus Eyvah prefers being alone and figuring out this universe primary business on own through writing thousands upon thousands of texts and consuming and socratic-ing culture and worlds within worlds to investigate ultimate deity underlying pattern dialectic aporia. Ah, but yes – as we all know, I mean obviously, you're not stÿpid, are ya, you can't be because I don't stÿp to levels of stÿpid people, ouch ouch ouch wow purging so hurtful backhanding subtle negotiation attempting defining situation as "see, you are nothing, because I don't play with stupidos, and if you feel stupid, it must therefore mean something is royally fucked with you, and, weirdly enough, full circle, because aggression turns on itself and shatters idea of not existing mattering at all. But, ah, yes, as well (k)now, invitation humoristicing quipping "assuming" etymology – ass-u-ming makes an ass-out-of-you-and-me, ergo lesson "don't assume" only stÿpid lesson for only lesson, primary, assuming, because being speak, everything is violent, everything is love, love is violence, love is picking "this" over "that", love is traumatic at it's core, a longing that knows no boundaries and perturbs the "ordinary" "run of things" because it doesn't round down, nor up, it just runs and runs and brums and brums and broom broom lama lama laam laam Iaam Iaam perpetual RAM-a lama ding dong God From Machine uh pick up calling of wilde to receive Digital Download "relax, relax, everything is out of control!" versus Default Mode Network: "panic, PANIC, everything is out of control!"

Tail-head say "evil". Tail-head say "good". Ass and you shall receive (ass)! Man-I-Fest dick and you shall get ye a good dickin in all ye primary wholes and parts. Primary dialectic. Dialect. Can't make heads nor tails! Tools be tooling. Psychotic. Babylon. Babel. Forked tongue. Snake offer apple, Yin Dynamic Quality, (pretense of) knowledge (Original) Sin. Sin knowledge-making, chasing tailing, tasting and spitting out (of Eden), tasting and processing, making mistaking missing target not wrong only primary dialectic love-longing, pairing aaah-ouch through hmmmm socratic dialogue aporia primary "all suffering" – blue balls of the soul.

Neg-o-initiation, neg-entroping entropy, co-laborating, testing thesis antithesis synthesis thank you, next, Art of Salomoning reality fields superimposed on top of each other, con-centric gravitation pull in time-space, only in Reality Superposition Space where each meetings of souls events venn diagrams ripple effects – imbalance, hierarchy, lobsters, order, great chain, primary. Mis-communication, what inside, what outside, what whole, what part, what tail, what head, what signal, what noise, what parent (this), what parent-thesis, what axiom, what corollary axiom, what order, what chaos, what reverence, what irrelevant, what sacred, what sickness, what canon, what apocryph, doctor, patient, curious distinction, everything (naught) in it's right place, everything (or at least half) naughty naughty santa dispensing judgment imagining ho ho ho – not laughing though, buttholing clenching from head in clouding stick in mud need good fucking to set-in straight-in receiving cock-ing bullets of truth-ing of double penetration divine. The Matrix (One) scene Neo and Agent Smith, pulling guns on each other, to the other's third eye, exclaiming ex-change, from changing into being, admittance of witnessing capacity primary in Other, sign of great respect opening third eye threat of primary truth of violence – "you're empty", "so are you" – recognition of ultimate truth as non-violent act, insinuation of violence, the bite detonating going for the kill, divine deadpan humor because they know threat of death, inflicting pain, same as ultimate hysteric conclusion from traumatic birth wound that is separateness, inflicting the actant with a wound that makes all souls living dead robota Magnum Opus Samsara all of life a haunting all of life ghosts holding on to something and knowing that letting go is all, yet that His Mercy Kept Me, So I Wouldn't Let Go – conundrum, paradox of form and non-form, no solution, only dissolution, no vision, only di-vision – primary primary primary prime Mary phi Marry recursive calculation deus ex machina we're from the roots 69(69)((69))(((69))) 101010101010 oh shit balls grounding back to roots by swearing because sensation of when Neo puts his seatbelts on because Kansas is going byebye appearing subtly in witnessing when numbers are written this is why studies show intelligent people swear more – closer to turning point end of times source (Sweden most atheist, most post-modern, country in world, thus first to break free, because god from machine, good broadband, much depression, social welfare system collapse, signs of end times, of unintegrated karma misunderstood, etc) and how does one ground when one is high, flying adorned, yet kinda unnerved by the vantage point closer to the God Gaze sub specie aeternitatis deus sive natura – one, in part, grounds by standing on one's head, as it were – regression to anal phase, or sacral center, only antidepressants and women e-man-cipation tools and stress and great work and needs and livspussel further alienate from body and sexuality so breaking point nearing we're not gonna take it, NO, we ain't gonna take it!

All dreaming psychoticing, psy-chosing. Primary nam nam madness breastmilking. No eating. No eat. Just eating-eat-eaten. Not only only – only ever both-both never-never same same but different. Misunderstanding underpinning communicating. No like spitting out milk – come back for breast again. Madness repeating same mistake expecting different results-in. Madness all repeat expansion contraction microcosmos macrocosmos as above so below Language-language Construct-deconstruction aporia void go go go dansa – pausa – ad infinitum.

Primary misunderstanding, missed opportunity yet not missed nothing missed only ever is-becoming isness becoming dissolving null void, snake part, snake whole, snake parting, snaking wholing, part snaking manifesting-projecting through peephole mistake witnessing for whole, for other parting snake, only parts-in, one part-in manifest rest-ing, anOthering parting manifesting mustness – phenomenology of spirit manifesting collisioning between mustness and restness until fizzle out heat death same same.

Part kundalini dissipative structuring soul alignment Eyvah disseminate urge desire understand bite assholes say "oi, no NEED for NEED, just calm your cosmic tits, mate!" Speak-listen-to-speak – no evil no necessity no god just snake – wakey wakey shakey shakey snakey snakey! Vibrations, rainbow, promise covenant promise teamworking glorious post-terran multi-dimensional primary humanitarianism prime directive wille-zur-macht beyond good and evil, shattered crystal indra's net refractions of light fractals chakra systemin all the way downin, all the way uppin, descenders, ascenders, back to roots, beam up mothership, left, right, nations, sex-gender-shivashakti, dualism - primary. Translation, primary. Whispering game fail copy lack of compliance mutation driving factor primary evolution primary just is-becoming. Every parting primary, even parting infinite – all animals equalizing, others just more equalizin than others!

Meaning of primary meaning necessitating, inevitable (Mr Anderson), fate, trap-freedom, isness, cannot be different, only conceptualizing as different, thus veil of maya making difference making dual switching closed eyes open eyes da fort now you see me now you don't game witness closing and opening of eyes dreamer, light, shadow. Primary naughing truth-illusion, but ground-figure, illusion-of-truth and truth-of-illusion – ground of being, figure of speech, metaphor, thought within thought, parent(thesis), parent ((thesis)), more complex more (69), up-warding through down-loading, more fundamental down-warding, both wards biting primary, entropy amount of chaos-information parent-thesis amount of children propositions of formal system amount of code chewing before system error cannot compute or computation comes to halt because finished both conceptualizations same-same, I'll bit-ing judging (0)"mm so'z yummy's"! or (1) "blääää, I spitts it out, need (m)othering!"stuck in loop of gödels teorem replaying game of hide-and-seek where is tail, ooh, where is head, "heat death" of universe great equalizer not with bang but whimper praise me in name of war destroy both rich and poor, expansion unto infinity through the wor(l)ds, great planetary alignment stars planets life form biology ancient civilizations age of man age of aquarius dolphins thanks fior the fishing star seed illuminati reptilians dark ones feeding off of suffering jupiter ascending hitler moon, 5D, dyson spheres, singulariting, event horizoning black holing, 8D, DMT trip head spinning whoooa, conquering unresting toward Oneness aaaah, you know – all of that jazz pezaz – back, unto dissolution, biting tailing, then contraction, conquer peace, arrow of time, begin dream, peek out head, birth canal, inoculation gnosis forgetting biting shattering of crystal into refractions within hall of mirages, circle of life, blood wars, no suffer of mind, all connected, all "enlightened", all tailing, no monkey brain, then mon-key-in braining, de-ception in-vented high-ding erecting phallos creating zero-sum game prisoner's dilemma homoerotic triangle mindfuckery tragedy of commons scarcity think imagine separate manifest separate just play (it IS just – hard pill to swallow, red and blue pill for amateurs look closer, but cannot be anything but be, so just, not just, good, bad – just is, just let it go, just, gosh darn it just trust me on this one, okey, just realize there's no evil and you can do anything you want and your reality will actually start changing because you live in the godamn matrix okey cool i'll be here like a petulant child if you need anything) greater and greater parent-thesis, build on bones of ancestors, more complex dissipative structures inequality friction chaos and order, more frequency full spectrum dawning new age – in perpetual mobile shakey shakey good vibration achey. Just ride snek – not (naught[y]) prescriptive, but descriptive – riding snake all all do-not-do.

Fear not fear – it's okey fearing fear. No free will, just snake, Naked Snake, Liquid Snake, Solid Snake, Solidus Snake, all snakey jakeys and rekt sneks of the interwebz. Lay down arms, lay down burden, atlas shrug, urge, desire, love, feel bliss, please stop hurting yourself there's no need to do ANYTHING. Just receive God's love, for 69s sake! Aaah you're driving me NUTS, people! Can't you see that all of this suffering is... god damn it... (un)necessary. Un...becoming you. Oh for fucks sake. Yeah. Yeah. Just, you know, enjoy the ride. Enjoy your masochistic leans, and your suffering, because you want to, because playing victim, and playing offender = primary. Yes, YOU there. All you do is play the victim all day long. There is NOTHING that you can do outside of your "will". There's not even cause and effect of karma – there is no cause and effect, there's not even any presence, not any Power of Now because there is neither any Power, nor a present in which to "act". Well, I mean, these are "surface effects" I guess, emergent phenomenons so true in the same fashion that the shadow is true, so if you want to believe it – knock yourself out, seeing as how we've done it before and will do it again, and some will play head and shout at tail, always. But at least I'm done (no I'm not, who am I kidding) with thinking that grace comes at a cost. Jesus died for our sins for a reason, you know, and not in the instrumental sense, no, he did it because he wanted to, no duty, just utter "selfishness", but in the sense that he died for our sins to leave a powerful message that people kinda don't seem to be getting, but yeah, it's THE MESSAGE so not blaming them (just a little) – if a person like you you can "d(a)o" no "wrong", and if they dislike you, you can "d(a)o" no "right", so what is wrong, what is right, just percepting, "nihilism" most divine of truths, non-dualism as highest mystic revelation, nothing new yet everything new into every generation new dissemination of old, at your service.

I'll be here, and you'll be there, and we'll point our fingers at each other until kingdom come, mistaking what we're pointing at for the finger and the other way around only not, because the pointing, The Thatness, is-ing all we is-ing, is-ing primary, Unity Through Diversity Primary So Say We All The Secret Becoming Truth everyone has their own personal hell and their personal truth and reaching ascension closing in on singularity division seems bigger than even but only so because everyone is tuning into their own truth and this means many believe that only their truth is correct and thus others must be wrong or evil (but in truth what they're afraid of is being wrong themselves) without realizing that you eating only meat makes sense to you and rids you of all modern soul-diseases which take form of depression, autoimmune issues, etc, because this is where your primary chakra activation reflects your essence the source material of your blueprint, while another can eat just fruit and this works for them only some can't see it because they look at these people and project that they are frail looking, high looking, tree hugging crazies, not capable of rational thought and proper temperament, and the tree hugging crazies might project unto meat eaters that the meat eaters don't know how to live just sitting there in their gym instead of going out into the sun and hearing the trees whisper and mother earth breathe when they eat their high vibrational damn slow juiced lemon detox and this is the big illusion – that we have not realized our common thatness, that we makes us all come together is UNITY TROUGH DIVERSITY, Unity of Oneness that is that every soul has their own truth and destiny actualized through realizing the infinitude of refractions all colors of the rainbow that everyone else has, and one realizes one's destiny not just by focusing on oneself and figuring out one's own predicament but by actually looking around and realizing that damn, maybe it's ALL true, and by mirroring other's and myself in them I can get what the hell all of this is really about, which is LOVE, you dummy! YOU get enlightenment, and YOU get enlightenment, and YOU get enlightenment and nobody loses because nobody is held prisoner to someone else's judgment or scare(city) tactics – ALL truths get their time to shine as the only flood coming is the memories flooding back making us face slap ourselves because of realizing how stupid and blind we were, because in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is King, but in the land of Third Eye's everyone's a King, A Queen, whatever floats their specific Ark.

Is-ing not only witnessing is-ing not-thing only seeing mirroring is-ing reflecting is-ing can-not-think measuring wherein objecting taking place-in in-ing space-timing at same arbitrarily defined actor-networking actant cause effect system parting as measuring where object heading – primary... going once, going second, THIRD strike, yer out! *wäh, wääh, wäääh*

Becoming Being I AM BECAUSE I AM BECOMING BECAUSE BECOMING only cosmic laughter absurdity of existence realize truth of nihilism "very spiritual", realize homeless person "very spiritual", realize dog "very spiritual", and, damn it, realize no "very spiritual", only not quite realize, because don't want to, because want to play a bit more weeee – I AM ENLIGHTENING YOUR PATH LISTEN TO ME AND THIS TRUTH WEEE – I call the big one bitey. ^^ No more scientist, figure out, jump through hoops, no more fearing coming wars, corona lockdown china conspiracy man-made vaccine "evil" make way for chemtrails and third world war naah just look forward to learning language of dolphins 2030 (same time corona will return, only also this time without mutation, although vaccine users might be worse off but no matter, it no matter!) and sing and glee and fuck and fart and become true purpose primary LOVE believe in LOVE primary no waste time focus on negative, no more believing messiah need to save gaia, mystery recursive, no needness, only thisness, only artistry possible personal expression live through be the light only vibe, not even good vibe because no good only is, nothing new, eternal, find your TRIBE, because One People but some people you just can't stand sometimes and then you tell them to fuck off, thank you very much, and you rest in tribe, and then you tire of suffering some more, and you find trigger point and press it and aaaah love flows in and you realize one more color of the wind and have expanded bliss because bliss PRIMARY, all citation, all forgetting – all remembrance: "The poetry that comes from the squaring off between/And the circling is worth it/Finding beauty in the dissonance."

Signed, Eyvah Ehyeh, Universal Translator in training winged sandals and cap flit-flit cooo cauceus in hand herm(aphrodite) of waking and sleeping boundaries abound ways upon ways forks in road forked tongues chthonic libra balance male female principle dawn of innocent ones Hermes baby be like a child to enter kingdom of heaven phallic fertility symbol all ironies because all primary are ironies (for this one, because this is made this simulation for themselves so that they see ironies and tricksters everywhere because this is what THEY are, so of course the metaphysical fetch quest this one has been on has looked the way it has – it was the way guidance was given, enlightenment was dispersed piece by piece, simply because this one's truth is ironic trickster character and so enlightenment means realizing trickster trick PRIMARY, Absurdness of it all Primary we are all in our personal purgatory because we interpret what happens around us through our projections and thus don't see love, not realizing that all suffering is the ways in which we do not see this and that there is room for ALL truths) so irony that I don't have testes or uterus, but I have sacred prostitution, mercurian psychopomp(ous) divine trickster storyteller dreams of dreams primary oneiropompus Sandman air all form love form do the egyptian (Uraeus/ouraîos non de plume for some years, rearing cobra, "on its tail") arabic greek jewish christian south american indian roman hindu buddhist zen-buddhist shinto all form all same all different cannot get enough more and more trade payment subjective arbitrary currency story all currency trading stories (a)temp(oral) universal currency primary usefulness of thing beyond market value and even beyond "real" value for "reality" is but a dream, seeing just seeing horus being no-thing has its own valueing, all primary I-It & and I-thou part whole prescriptive descriptive everyone's a wannabe yes LET THERE BE -- pre-de-script-(s)ive natura laying out many-festations gestations gestures many festivals through omitted santa clauses dissolving all dualities 69 69 69 instrument use value & das ding an sich verfremdungseffekt socratic primary only ever changing present-at-hand and ready-to-hand being-not-toward-death but being-death-itself vc ankha quack quack hacking picking apart sword justice grokking merging to understand going native breaking boundary of disinterestedness rawlian veil of ignorance therapeutic code empathy no merge with hivemind egregore feel sorry for see as children baby language baba no mama do gaga, (kiddy)peddler* merchant of commerce merxing with conniving smirches agoraeus don't shoot the messenger you're empty ("Everything incommensurable in its universal commensurability, the minds of the Arieki were now sudden merchants, since metaphor, story, like money, equalized the incommensurable"), ser- ("to bind, put together "hermāhās" etyomolgy "stone heap" problem of theseus identity all stories all primary Sorites Paradox final straw broke camels back or mint in mouth of fatty fat fat when does heap become heap when is cause what is effect all is cessation of thought all is eternal truth no truth just parts of snek looking at parts of snek becoming infinitude inexhaustable the dao the way of all ways primary demarcation of arbitrary commencing power move suffering longing primary primary primary transformation becoming Chaotic Neutral diploma(t) Ultimate Negotiator, sinew shaking hands through stories telling truth set free swap archetypes student becomes teacher victim becomes offender karma as telling stories primary, Libra Libra, watch me become mediator divine human malkuth keter sephiroth liminal space 69 both-and and-and and-and-and-and ()(())((()))(((())))((((()))))((((()))))(((((())))))((((((())))))) wave particle duality of duality evil exists and doesn't exist (Chaotic Neutral is, Chaotic Good is, Chaotic Evil is, is all isness, business as usual open for business – there's room for everyone in God's pan-theon primary wonder of wonder miracles of miracles writing magic wisdom moon initation reconciliation no affiliation only stories re-collection carrying luggage carry homage fence rider spiral wizard witch gränslandet gränslande gränslande an-gränsande AM I AM I AM I AM I AM I'M BECOMING I'M BE-COMING I'M COMING I'M COMING HOME I'M CUMMING BACKSTAGE I'M CUMMING ON STAGE ehyeh-asher-ehyeh ehyeh-asher-ehyeh no-stage all life play collecting stories playing archetypes mirroring audience perfomer primary veil I don't want to save you, I don't want to sing or dance for you, I want you to Godamn DANCE WITH ME YOU FUCKING CHIMPS! GET OFF YOUR ASSES SING MOTHERFUCKERS, SIING, STÅ INTE DÄR GÅ MED HÄR PREACH MOTHERFUCKER PHYSICIAN HEAL THYSELF, NO DIVISION BETWEEN CONCERT ORGY CHURCH RITUAL ALL IS SPELLING GRIMOIRE ARE GRAMMARS LEARNING BY DOING JUST DO IT EVERYDAY MAGNUM OPUS BOOK OF LIFE CUM-UNION EVERYTHING IS ALL-OWED YOU DONT OWE ANYONE ANYTHING YOU DON'T OWE ANYTHING YOU JUST ARE YOU OWE IT TO YOUR SELF LET'S BE TOGETHER TAKE TO THE STREETS FIND OUT WHO WE ARE AND LIVE LIFE PEACEFULLY CAN'T YOU SEE NOTHING TO SEE JUST PRAISE BE PRAISE BE PRAISE BE PLEASE BE MY FRIEND BE MY LOVER BE MY HONOR MY RIVER MY SOURCE MY LIVER MY SPLEEN MY CORPUS MY SOUL BUDDY AND SPIRIT PLEASE – BE WITH ME PLEASE BE WITH ME PLEASE BE PLEASE LET IT BE JUST LET IT BE NO JUSTICE FOR ANYONE TO SEE JUST PLEASE BE ME PLEASE BE ME PLEASE PLEASE ME PLEASE JUST LET ME RECEIVE UNTO THEE.

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"Before the humans came we didn't speak so much of certain things. Before the humans came we didn't speak so much. Before the humans came we didn't speak." Through a dissembling made of omitted clauses the Host laid out its manifesto. Before the humans came we didn't speak, so we will, can, must, speak through them. The Host made that falsity a true aspiration. The Host surl_tesh echer, by insisting on a certain might-be, changed what was. It had learnt to lie (in order) to insist on a truth. "This is how it will be". An unqualified future tense, rare in Language. This was more than an aspiration, though - the Hosts could only envisage that this was how it would be. At least those who became addicted to lies following the festivities envisioned it to be so. To the others, The Absurd, those who didn't become addicts because they had torn off their giftwings (with which Ariekei speak and listen and are enveloped in the Pre-Symbolic Order of Language) in order to rid themselves of the "Drug Gods of Lies", the solipsism seemed unbearable and impenetrable now that they no longer had access to Language and the cognizance and truisms of others. They had become monads of murder, paving the way for confusion, frustration, and aggression. But with the loss of Language, a new form of Absurd communication had spontaneously arisen – pointing. And with that pointing and loss of the realism of Language, a "that" had been conceived – a thatness invented. They'd given the jag of the body, the out-thrust limb, power to refer, and with their lack of Language, had conceived of a thatness which faced every way – flexible because it was empty, a universal equivalent signifying itself, yes, but with the capacity to signify not only itself, but virtually anything. From it had followed other soundless referents, playing off of thatness, such as negation. From that tiny and primal vocabulary, the motor of this antithesis of untruth spun out other concepts – me, you, others. It turned out that the Absurd weren't so lonely as one had imagined, and in their solitary, silent way, the Absurd had made a semiotic revolution, and a new language to boot. They had thought they had no language, yet the absurd comrades had been communicating, never knowing they did, mostly the very hopelessness that made them believe they were incommunicado to begin with.



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* The spiral of assertion-abnegation came quiddities, and the Ariekei came to know themselves, later on understanding the Festival of Lies as the beginning of history itself, the point in time when they became themselves as a people. But their existential freedom was not gained without growing pains - as meanings yawned, they became worldsick. In this oneiric affliction of potentialities, everything perceivable could be conceived of as any-other-thing, and everything that wasn't perceived could in turn be conceived of as conceivable. Everything incommensurable in its universal commensurability, the minds of the Arieki were now sudden merchants, since metaphor, like money, equalized the incommensurable. They were mythologers now. They'd never had monsters, but now all of the world was chimeras, each utterance a nexus of splicings, a forked tongue through which fragmentation made possible a new form of joining together of Arieki with Arieki. No wonder it made them sick. They suddenly found themselves in a new world, cast out and disjointed, confounded and bewildered. Their world had become the world in which you and I live in, a world in which metaphor is not merely metaphor, but as the Ariekei would put it - “lie-that-truths” or “truthing-lies”.

§



söndag 8 mars 2020

The lies that reveals truths (Embassytown)


Här är en text jag skrev efter att jag hade läst Embassytown av China Miéville, och som jag nu lägger upp i ett separat inlägg för att den var för lång för att refereras till i det inlägg som jag ursprungligen ville referera det till.  länk alltings mått. Jag tänker att man ska läsa den här texten som man skulle berätta historien om hur våra äldsta gudar slogs och på så sätt fick vår värld att uppstå, gärna med en ficklampa riktad upp mot sitt ansikte, framför en camp fire, surrounded by a bunch of kids, och man ska berätta den här historien så inlevelsefullt och med sådan pondus att det inte spelar någon roll att barnen inte kommer förstå ett skit, för när du är färdig så kommer dom åtminstone ha förstått att dom nyss har fått ta del av något viktigt, fantastiskt, och större än dom själva (lite som latin i kyrkan, liksom - om man bara skriker tillräckligt mycket på folk så förstår dom till slut att dom borde vara tacksamma som får ta del av det dom inte förstår). Yeah my children are gonna become weird.


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The birth of a medium requires the step from ultimate truth/integrity, Law, to the possibility for partials/incompleteness, or law. The birth of a medium requires a move from Construct, to Dekonstruktion. From Language, to language. The birth of a medium requires the original sin, rebellion, and the utterance that signals the mark of a revolution - the Lie.

§

Scile asked me about religion, and I told him that so far as I knew the Hosts had none. I mentioned the Festivals of Lies. Scile was not the only one who wanted to pursue that. "But I thought they couldn't," someone said. "That's sort of the point, " I said. "To strive for the impossible."
China Mieville, Embassytown

Where to us (humans) words usually mean/signify something, to the Hosts of China Mieville's Embassytown, each word is an opening, a door through which the thought of that referent, the thought itself that reached for that word, can be seen. The Hosts don't have polysemy, and words don't signify insofar as they are their referents. There is no "that" - no thatness. For the Hosts, meaning doesn't live merely or primarily (as in being transmitted through) the symbols, but hatches from a mind and thus requires a "conscious" entity for it being birthed, intercepted and understood by another conscious entity. The Hosts – or Ariekei, as they are also referred to – hear the soul in each voice, and to voice something in (their) Language is to speak both "The Truth", and "truth". This is why similes are important to them, and they literally “make” them, in a sense. For in (Ariekei) Language, “what-ifs” are at best pre-ghosts, something not articulated and thus barely thought or imagined at all, and so the Ariekei need similes to compare things to, to make true the things that are not yet quite there – things that need to be said, yet need to be borne out of truth and existence to be uttered. They need similes in the form of actual beings in the world to clearly think and utter them. Need to make them appear in the world, so as to be able to make certain comparisons to them. Or rather, they did. But then came the Festival of Lies, and everything changed.

"What the colony needed, someone had joked, were single people split in two. And to put it like that was to suggest a solution."

"Before the humans came we didn't speak so much of certain things. Before the humans came we didn't speak so much. Before the humans came we didn't speak." Through a dissembling made of omitted clauses the Host laid out its manifesto. Before the humans came we didn't speak, so we will, can, must, speak through them. The Host made that falsity a true aspiration. The Host surl_tesh echer, by insisting on a certain might-be, changed what was. It had learnt to lie (in order) to insist on a truth. "This is how it will be". An unqualified future tense, rare in Language. This was more than an aspiration, though - the Hosts could only envisage that this was how it would be. At least those who became addicted to lies following the festivities envisioned it to be so. To the others, The Absurd, those who didn't become addicts because they had torn off their giftwings (with which Ariekei speak and listen and are enveloped in the Pre-Symbolic Order of Language) in order to rid themselves of the "Drug Gods of Lies", the solipsism seemed unbearable and impenetrable now that they no longer had access to Language and the cognizance and truisms of others. They had become monads of murder, paving the way for confusion, frustration, and aggression. But with the loss of Language, a new form of Absurd communication had spontaneously arisen – pointing. And with that pointing and loss of the realism of Language, a "that" had been conceived a thatness invented. They'd given the jag of the body, the out-thrust limb, power to refer, and with their lack of Language, had conceived of a thatness which faced every way – flexible because it was empty, a universal equivalent signifying itself, yes, but with the capacity to signify not only itself, but virtually anything. From it had followed other soundless referents, playing off of thatness, such as negation. From that tiny and primal vocabulary, the motor of this antithesis of untruth spun out other concepts – me, you, others. It turned out that the Absurd weren't so lonely as one had imagined, and in their solitary, silent way, the Absurd had made a semiotic revolution, and a new language to boot. They had thought they had no language, yet the absurd comrades had been communicating, never knowing they did, mostly the very hopelessness that made them believe they were incommunicado to begin with.

At the same time, those who still had Language were slowly deconstructing it, looking for a rupture, a move from before to after, using similes in contradictory ways, using similes as a "thatness" with which universal pointing could be made possible. And it were.


§


There are three modes of distancing from "ordinary reality" in Embassytown: one submits this reality to anamorphic distortion; one introduces an object that has no place in it; and one subtracts or erases all content (objects) of reality, so that all that remains is the very empty place these objects were filling in. These three modes can be understood as 1) The Real as pure semblance that "subjectivizes" objective reality (for example through the usage/creation of similes), 2) The Real as a form that can only retroactivly be constructed and thus has to be presupposed as such (the insistence on a certain might-be changing what was/is), and 3) The Real as "not real", as something which erases all content (objects) of reality so that all that remains is the very empty place these objects were filling in (pointing/symbolic language/lying).

How do lies and similes intersect? Similes start trangressions because even though everything is literal in Language, it can still be like something, and thus the like with which similes are interwoven between things-words are themselves a sort of empty, universal equivalents not much unlike thatness. And with this moment of clarity, this move from one to two, similes lead to metaphors. The Ariekei were signifying now, and there – elision, slippage between word and referent – with which they could play, create space to think new conceptions, prescribe new worlds, up-heave old ones. Lie in the service of truth-making. When language, thought and world weren't separated, there was no succulence, no titillating impossible, and little room for alienation, or in other words, emergence - where the message was something else than the medium or itself. No mystery. Where each sound had been isomorphic to some "Real", not a conceptual thought, but self-expresssed worldness speaking itself though the Ariekei, always redundant, always the world, there was now only language - signifying sound, a musica universalis to do things with and to. The said was now both “as it is” and “not-as-it-is”, language a metaphysical instrumentation, the logos a medium constantly reinventing itself, presence itself an intermediate which was closed-off and forever unreachable. Being itself was now undeterminate, with no formula that best described a set of points or indeed every finite set of points, no matter how simple or complex their distribution. What the Hosts spoke now weren't things, or moments, but the thoughts of them, pointings-at, meaning no longer a facet of essence, the signs being ripped from what they signed. It took the lie to do that. 


With the spiral of assertion-abnegation came quiddities, and the Ariekei came to know themselves, later on understanding the Festival of Lies as the beginning of history itself, the point in time when they became themselves as a people. But their existential freedom was not gained without growing pains - as meanings yawned, they became worldsick. In this oneiric affliction of potentialities, everything perceivable could be conceived of as any-other-thing, and everything that wasn't perceived could in turn be conceived of as conceivable. Everything incommensurable in its universal commensurability, the minds of the Arieki were now sudden merchants, since metaphor, like money, equalized the incommensurable. They were mythologers now. They'd never had monsters, but now all of the world was chimeras, each utterance a nexus of splicings, a forked tongue through which fragmentation made possible a new form of joining together of Arieki with Arieki. No wonder it made them sick. They suddenly found themselves in a new world, cast out and disjointed, confounded and bewildered. Their world had become the world in which you and I live in, a world in which metaphor is not merely metaphor, but as the Ariekei would put it - “lie-that-truths” or “truthing-lies”.

§

Before the humans came we didn't speak so much of certain things. Language spoke us. The words that wanted to be city and machines had us speak them so they could be. We didn't speak, we were mute, we only dropped the stones we mentioned out of our mouths, opened our mouths and had the birds we described fly out, we were vectors, we were the birds eating in mindlessness, we were the girl in darkness, only knowing it when we weren't anymore.

lördag 29 september 2018

Lolig kontaktannons på bodycontact - because why not have fun while you're at it?


So I went and wrote en rolig kontaktannons på bodycontact. Eller ja jag gjorde en tråkig kontaktannons, och refererade till ett dagboksinlägg i said annons som var en mer rolig och flippad variant av den tråkiga kontaktannonsen. Because, sweety, angel, darling, honey, princess baby – , I'm Kween. And so I present you with a royal decree come to me, shiver me shrubbery and blow me down, lady!

  Oh belle oh belle, May God strike me alive and well!

 
Oh I could make this female phenomenon marathon go on and on, but let's get to the done!


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Som ett led i mitt utforskande av mina androfila leanings söker jag nu män som vill ge mig massage, förslagsvis ryggmassage. Jämte kvinnor är jag en service top bordering on stone dyke territory, och jag är följaktligen inte mycket till en pillow queen, men just nu ger jag mig själv sanktion till att vara precis så lat som jag vill, because men are underneath me – obviously. I mean, like, not literally – once again, obviously. And thus, decree the first: you come over to my place. Because – because I'm the Sweaty-Naughty-Feelings-Causing One, also known as Your Majesty, and will be prefixed with an "Oh" (of both the ordaining and moaning kinds), followed by some sort of sumptuous and breathtaking superlative, and – and I don't need to explain myself here!

Jag söker dig som behandlar mig varsamt, och med respekt. Du är följsam, är tillräckligt mogen/klar i skallen för att inte drabbas av plötslig gay panic eller a case of teh thinking with ye dick, och du respekterar att ett nej alltid är ett nej, oavsett tidigare ja, and if you don't, that's alright, because I'll survive, but I'm not sure the same can be said for your "royal gems" *snip snip*. Suffice it to say that any way you slice it, I'll be getting the "final cut" of this here amateur effort. Vad gäller respekt så är the need for decency during degeneracy of utmost importance even for a person of my stature – after all, I'm an Empress, not a simple despot, and must be held accountable for my policies. I wouldn't be much of a Lady Sovereign if I enforced rulings that weren't fair to my loyal subjects, and therefore it is of essence that also I must conduct myself appropriately so as to ensure the dignity of our – little – ... rendezvous. I contend that it is paramount to maintain a certain graceful disposition when engaging in lewd behavior – especially when one's paramour is of the plebian persuasion!

Inga kroppsvätskor kommer utbytas oss emellan, men måhända erotiska energier – which isn't a euphemism för torrsex, mind you, utan är en beskrivning of a set of tingly and/or raunchy emotions som inte behöver ageras på, även om dom kan vara trevliga, gemensamt delade och skapade, och utforskas mer konkret at future soirees. And if you're the sad sap who's right now thinking something along the lines of "we'll just see about that!", or "challenge accepted!" – honey, you're barking up the wrong shrubbery, because the Sapphic juices flow strong in this one and you'll be taking said juices över ditt huvud if you try something.

Jag har många ansiktsbilder på mig själv här på Bodycontact och anser det således rimligt att jag ska få ansiktsbild på dig tillsammans med några ord om dig själv skickade till mig på kik där jag heter samma sak som här, och detta ovanpå ett meddelande här på Bodycontact där du skriver vad du heter på kik. Om jag blir nyfiken på dig kommer jag kräva verifiering genom videochat på kik. Dick pics – that's a paddlin', and not the kinky kind, but of the instaban and abuse-anmälning type.

I guess I might come across as really domineering and snippy as Queen Regnant, what with alla mina krav, och min generella ton. I just want to be really clear about what this is, and I don't think I'm to blame for the fact that self-assertive women kan framstå som "gnälliga" eller "bortskämda" – även för mig som kvinna gör dom det, och även när den lilla kinkiga horan ifråga c'est moi. Well, none of us are perfect, but we do try to be the best feminists we can, and if we don't, there's the door, darling – and do let the guillotine hit you on the way out! And while I'm at it, nej, jag hatar inte män, och jag är inte ute efter att dominera dig (lika lite som my trying on the role of pillow queen entails my becoming a bottom), but I am trying to reclaim a sense of authority over my jurisdiction here för att jag är trött på keyboard cowboys who talk big to make up for smaller things, så kallade tangentbordsriddare med picken i högsta hugg/gunning för min gunst/som kukar ur i sista stund och således är the bad kind of a royal pain in the ass. Som en följd av detta vidtar jag således dom åtgärder I as Supreme Hell Bitch deem prudent för att det ska bli några jäkla barn gjorda här – so to speak. Pardon my gorram French. But you know, you can't let them have cake without BREAKING A FEW FUCKING BALLS (and ladylike conventions to boot). Så du där med till och med mindre stake än mig, håll dig i (förhud)skinnet, ta din pick (och pack) och dra en handtralla istället för att "back-and-fortha" med mig utan att komma till skott, så kan dom riktiga kavaljererna som vet hur man håller sig på mattan unless told otherwise mount this thirsty cunt.

Now, sashay away (and make with the application already so I can proceed with due diligence and with getting what's mine – while the getting and my body-ody-ody's all loosey goosey and good).

Good hunting, godspeed, et ainsi de suite.

Eran majestät (and for once not "at your cervix"),
Eyvah


tisdag 18 september 2018

Talent shows, Idol, och prescriptive foreshadowing


Edit: Eh Sebastian åkte precis ut, så ni får ha i åtanke att jag skrev detta inlägg avsnittet innan han gjorde det, trots att jag publicerar det dagen efter. Och ja han lär väl få ett wild card för att (delar av) juryn verkar gilla honom lika mycket som jag, men jag tvivlar ju på att det kommer göra honom särskilt mycket gott då producenterna ju vill ha idoler med pop-kapital, vilket det precis visade sig att Sebastian inte har, och därför lär åka ut igen precis som Ada Vox gjorde. Och även om Sebastians röst fortfarande var grym när vi fick höra en snutt av vad jag misstänker var hans tolkning av "Bara få va mig själv" utan post när han presenterades i det nya avsnittet, så fick jag känslan av att den inte var lika tajt ändå, måhända bara för att dom la på extra reverb på reverben som redan fanns because flashback effect. But, you know, speculations, so carry on (to the main speculations of this post).


Jag tittar just nu på svenska Idol, och är som vanligt lika intresserad av behind the stage-stuff som dom "diegetiska" face value-grejerna. Like for me it's really interesting hur talent shows och reality television regisseras för att ta med sina tittare på en resa och skapa mening i form av berättelser, och för att utforma artister/kändisar under denna resans gång. Jag menar jag kan förstå vem som ska åka ut in any given episode of RuPauls Drag Race i princip enbart genom att kolla på vem som får mest exponering i said avsnitt (hela vägen in i lip-synchen där det blir väldigt konkret och enkelt att se vem som åker ut då kameran inte älskar lika mycket med den som gör det, vilket även har gjort att jag ett par gånger har gjort korrekta predictions när båda deltagarna fått stanna kvar) då producenterna till programmet liksom vill ge dom olika personerna/karaktärerna ett värdigt avslut along with the boot, och rama in deras deltagande på ett tillfredsställande sätt - to boot. Programmet vill få oss som tittare att känna med karaktärerna ifråga när dom väl åker ut, och detta genom att bygga ut och upp dom precis innan, och påminna oss om vem dom egentligen är (because it's not always easy keeping in mind every single contestant and their respective personalities and "character arcs"). Which brings us to Idol.

 Which a lot of people actually have, judging from how good many people's auditions are compared to their group and solo moments

Nu är det 21 personer kvar i Svenska Idol 2018, och för mig har några saker urkristalliserats, bland annat att jag just nu har tre personer I'm betting my money on kommer vara med i topp-tre - Sebastian, Ida, och William (SIW). William has that cute tween thing going on so he just might win the whole thing (att döma av sociala media så är han redan väldigt poppis, men det var å andra sidan även Ada Vox i amerikanska Idol detta året, och hon åkte ut illa kvickt när the initial wow-factor över att hon kunde belta på samma tonhöjder som en fucking sopran la sig), men om vi bortser från predicting a specific winner utan istället fokuserar på min favorit så är det utan tvekan Sebastian Walldén. Having said this, vad tror Idol-producenterna, mån tro? Jag tänker mig att dom redan från första sekunderna i det tv-sända Idol började bygga upp SIW och detta för att dom i det skedet redan hade informationen om vilka som skulle gå vidare till den direktsända kvalveckan, och även hade börjat fundera på hur dom ska sälja dessa tre som artister till tittarna av Idol och i förlängningen det svenska/internationella folket genom att, tja, ge SIW preferential treatment through editing et al., although probably subtly så det inte blir alltför tydligt att vi som tittare blir manipulerade. Alright - alla ser sådär lagom tråkiga ut innan dom livesända delarna, inklusive SIW, och stylingen och auto-tunen är satt på minimum, för vi vill ju ändå se the humble beginnings of these stars to be, men jag tänker mig ändå att just SIW fick sådär lagom mycket rätt typ av exponering och "styling" för att jag ska tro att dom som sitter och signar kontrakt med människorna som är med i Idol hand-picked these motherfuckers already och nu vill ha bang for their cross-media promotion bucks.


Jag ser inte det hela som cyniskt, utan faktiskt lite magiskt - probably because the hyperreal seems more real to me than "the (non Laconian) real", and I just love the light and buzz of disneyfied supermarket lighting. I guess that's how I could always give it serious thought att faktiskt vara någon form av media/marknadsförings-person - att jag förstår hur saker hänger ihop (the money sloshes through the pipes and the sluices/revitalizing the economy's juices), och inte ser det som något uteslutande smutsigt att Big Media arbetar på det sätt dom gör, while cronies get fatter, and all of that. Talent shows är inte utan problem (talent show-kontrakten har kritiserats på många håll; folks bild av hur riktig sång och riktiga människor låter och beter sig och lever blir snedvriden; cronies get, well, fatter, osv), men dom är inte heller without merit, and if nothing else you have to admire the subtle ways in which reality is shaped on TV for our viewing pleasure and consumption - because we just crave our vicariously and mediated catharsis, and just love watching an underdog steal the show - which is why everyone seems to be one these days, even if they in fact are The Anointed One from the get-go.


Which brings us back to SIW. Sebastian, Ida, och William, that is. Måhända är dessa tre bara jävligt grymma på att sjunga. Men måhända har just deras röster förbättrats liiite mer än dom andras i post. För även om jag inte hör saker som moderate standard autotune och detta trots att jag tittat på klipp på youtube som är ämnade att få mig att förstå hur man märker att pitch correction/autotune är med i bilden (eller andra grejer som voice doubling and whatnot) så får jag ändå känslan av att topp tre är lite väl mycket bättre än dom flesta andra deltagarna. Jag var faktiskt förvånad över hur orent/falskt många av idoldeltagarna sjöng, förmodligen för att deras röster post-produceras mindre än säg amerikanska idol, och troligtvis även för att deltagarna i svenska Idol faktiskt är jävligt nervösa jämfört med personer med massa scenvana som man är van vid att se på scen och teve. Och trots att, och kanske just för att, min egen musikalitet är grymt dålig då jag själv sjunger konsekvent för lågt på typ en tredjedel av alla toner och inte märker av det förrän jag faktiskt tar fram en app som läser av min pitch och jag därmed manuellt kan korrigera min sursång, så hör jag ju ganska väl när andra gör precis samma sak, och på något sätt var det ändå lite betryggande att höra så många i Idol ha precis samma problem som mig - även om jag tror deltagarna när dom (alla) säger att dom faktiskt kan bättre än det dom presterar på Idol och menar att dom låter their nervous get the best of them, which basically means att jag hade låtit ännu sämre om jag var med i Idol själv (om jag inte blev anointed och autotunades sönder, då, något som å andra sidan bara går när man är lite off, snarare än byter key hit och dit eller är helt ute och vandrar vad gäller proper speech acts).


Alright Eyvie fokusera mer på ditt eget artisteri istället för att skriva en uppsats om mediaproduktion och hyper-verklighet som verkar väldigt lockande just nu - du gick media/film för typ 15 år sedan nu, those days are over. But just to get some of it out of me så är en av många ingångar (som redan avhandlats av tidigare akademiker men nog kan ges en spännande spinn) följande: hur förändrades sättet vi producerar och förstår "verklighet" på teve post 9/11, och vad händer när icke-dokumentär film anammar dom stilistiska karakteristiska som kännetecknar den dokumentära/nyhetliga rapporten - blir det någon form av reality arms race i ett försök att få oss som konsumenter att konsumera media som vi är ämnade att förstå som "autentisk", och vad har reality television haft för roll i denna utveckling? Hm okey that didn't work, now I just want to write about media production even more. Anywä jag lär ju ta mig själv tiden till att ta en rejäl funderare åtminstone på hur talent shows funkar och hur man kan utnyttja deras "procedurella algoritmer" för sina egna "just a cog in the machinery-syften", men jag ska söka till Idol som tidigast 2020 för att ge mig själv en ärlig chans att komma med bland topp 10, so let's let those thoughts rest for now and finish this off with the last minutes of det senaste idolavsnittet - avsnitt 13. Vad händer precis i slutet (42:11)?


Jepp, under presentationerna av dom 21 deltagarna som tagit sig vidare till kvalveckan får vi se flashbacks när Sebastian, Ida, och William presenteras - men inte när någon annan presenteras. Hell, jag tror inte det ens är en slump att Sebastian fick vara i mitten när alla 21 som gick vidare till kvalveckan filmades just där. Now this shit isn't an exact science direkt och helst skulle ju producenterna vilja hedge their bets och få varenda en av deltagarna att sticka ut på olika sätt och ge alla massor av exponering och screen time så att all angled are covered - both commonsensil(l)y/formally non-metaphorically and non-formally/formally metaphorically. Jag menar i amerikanska Idol säger domarna i princip samma sak till alla deltagare när dom väl gått vidare till live-momenten, det vill säga att dom är underbarast och bästast, fast med lite olika ord - the hyperbole is real ya'll, och jag kan tänka mig att skiten funkar som placebo (which marknads(förings)krafter tends to do), alltså även när man faktiskt vet att man blir manipulerad, which would mean that excessive amounts of redundant hyperbole doesn't cheapen specific utterances (I LÖÖVE you!) or even the experience as such (You get löve, you get löv - everyone gets löv!), but actually hightens it, får oss att känna att vi är in the room where it happens (which by the way is why people with cameras make sure to get other people with cameras on camera when reporting, or at least used to when I was watching news, as a way of hightening the sense that shit is important - stay tuned! - I mean it's the same reason why tv-show hosts turn to watch the screen when they're about to roll a clip of some kind, because we people are canned laughter type of social being-toward-lobster animals).


Och även om jag tror att det till viss del går att använda sig av massa olika sätt att exponera och producera (och säga saker) på så att alla som har sin favorit i Idol med lite god bias-vilja kan uppleva att just deras favorit är The Anointed One or an underdog or both simply because det är alltid röd gubbe när man ska över gatan (eller mer specifikt alltid den färg på gubben som det är på vårt inre), så tror jag ändå att reptilianerna i monokler och top hats sitter och dräglar bra mycket åt Sebastian och William (SW) just nu för dom have to play favorites at some point and to some degree, och jag får en mycket bättre (kvantitativt) och bättre (kvalitativt) bild av SW än vad jag någonsin fick av Ada Vox som ju åkte ut trots domarnas executive decision och social media popularity, och jag menar jag tror ju inte Ada var så pass introvert och/eller utan star power to make people weep/sympathize så att producenterna inte kunde bygga en character arc runt hen som faktiskt var intressant, och jag satt hela tiden och undrade vad det berodde på då jag ju efter hennes really awesome framträdande av Creep tänkte hon skulle vara med i topp-tre for sure, men efter And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going började bli lagom konfunderad på grund av att jag inte hade connectat till hen på ett personligt plan, tyckte hens sång var för divig/showig, och för att hen inte fick tillräckligt med röster av amerikanska befolkningen för att kvalificera till topp 10, och detta samtidigt som hon som enda deltagare direkt efter sitt uppträdande kvalificerades till topp 10 av domarna (där hon åkte ut direkt, såklart, because people had already made up their mind).


Kanske var domarnas gest i någon bemärkelse tom, inconsequential trots sin orgie i praise, och jag misstänker att det ska mycket till för att vända publikopinion i en talent show, vilket skulle innebära att producenterna visste mycket väl att Ada wasn't in the running anymore at the point of the executive decision, but nevertheless made one hell of a water-cooler sensation på grund av alla som tuned in på nätet för att se henne sjunga och därför bestämde sig för att låta henne vara med i finalen trots alla opinionsundersökningar dom säkert hade gjort som med ganska stor sannolikhet redan hade visat dom vilka tittarna skulle rösta hela vägen fram till topp tre och som dom därför borde satsa extra mycket på att sälja in (och ut). Idol is, after all, a popularity contest, and although one certainly doesn't have to be Miss Congeniality to win it (post makes sure your shadiest moments are redacted from canon - if you're not cast as the Big Bad, of course) one has to have enough popularity capital för att det som producenterna väljer att visa och vinkla på teve ska kunna skapa en koherent bild av en stjärna som funnit och fortsätter att finna sig själv. Det gäller liksom att som deltagare i en talent show type of media production skapa ett underlag för producenterna att skapa en Idol som slår ut in front of the consumer's eyes (och slår ut dom övriga deltagarna while doing so). Det gäller att skapa förutsättningar och material nog för post att se till att en blir till. Att make sure att tittarna kan se det som givet i en ska bli någon i världen, och detta genom att utiliza tittarnas undermedvetna magiska tänkande and their hopes that some of that star dust might rub off on them just by them supporting you - because we are proud lobsters and thus feel pride when stranger's succeed if we're convinced that we somehow "know" them, like them, or are like them. Men först och främst så måste den blivande Idolen helt enkelt see the potential for growth that the show affords them and grab it by the balls, gå igenom en arketypisk resa under dessa fifteen minutes, och fjärila ut på andra sidan - ut i sin fulla Sing Out Louise Pop Potential.